A Father's Daughter Becomes a Mother

What will happen to a daddy's little girl when her left and was separated from her?

As I was typing "a father's daughter becomes a mother" in the internet, the exact same words are actually what compose the title of a real article. A Father's Daughter Becomes a Mother by Shruti Malur is a brief narration of what happened to her when her father left and worked abroad. She was a daddy's girl who had a wonderful relationship with her father. She expressed in this article how bad it felt for her that her dad needed to be separated from her. She also share her realizations when she had a daughter who also became a daddy's girl.

"My father’s absence might be one of the major reasons that strained my relationship with my mother. I am not very proud of it.  She was a disciplinarian and always wanted us to be the best. Our performance in school and extracurricular activities had to be great. Otherwise it would reflect badly on her and her upbringing. There was too much pressure. At least, that’s the way I saw it. To channel the resentment I had, I started being difficult and indifferent towards my mother’s feelings. My grades started dropping in school. I had started nurturing the rebel in me," Malur said.

I believe that being too close with one of the parents will most likely to have a "bitter" relationship with the other. I heard my friend's story who was also a daddy's girl. When her dad left, she was angry and blamed her mother for her father's absence. This is the turning point of a cute little princess to a teenage rebellion.

She also narrated, "When I became a parent, I had this in my head that I had to take the lead. I was still functioning like before and was always in a “go” mode. I ended up doing a lot, being exhausted, angry and discontent. In turn I wasn't able to enjoy my child as much. I was being authoritative and expecting too much."

This was the effect of her father's absence. As a parent, she became more like her mother who expects too much from her child. A study I read before states that the parent's characteristics you rebel against is what you are going to be when you become a parent.

As Shruti realized this, she began to change her attitude towards her daughter. She realized that her mother was only trying to be a father for her. In return, she tried to be the "son" her mother never had (both of her children are girls).

This realization, would encourage every parent to stopped and think what kind of parents they are. Do they have inner pains that made them like a monster for their children? Or do they have a sweet relationship with their children because the had also a good relationship with their parents too?