Attention-Seekers

Do you know a lot of girls who are flirtatious? They always feel like a super star who walks around the campus wearing heavy make up, fashioned clothes, high heels, etc. To sum it up, they are always the center of attraction.

Well, it is one of the rebellious effects of daughters not having their fathers around. They always try to seek the attention they need from other people. Upon seeing an article, entitled The Effects of Fathers Rejecting Their Daughters by Thea Theresa English, one major effect written in that article is about girls seeking attention from men.

Therese English quoted, "When a daughter is rejected by her father and she's a teen, she may look to other men for the love and attention she craves."

It is a sort of a rebound relationship. When someone who just broke up with her boyfriend and had another boyfriend in just a short period of time, the guy will most likely to be a rebound for the girl.  A relationship where a girl tries to substitute her former boyfriend so that she can move on. Attention-seekers are like this. When they did not experienced a father's love, they try to substitute their fathers with other men around so that they'll get the attention they wanted. 

This type of girls most likely irritate people around. But people must understand them because they only wanted to feel like they are love. If you know someone who is like this, you need to be sensitive that one most likely reason why they act like like that is the absence of the father's love. 

Little Princess Turns to a Monster

A friend of mine told me that when she was just a kid, she used to be a daddy's little girl. They spent lots of time with each other compared with her siblings. But when she was about eight, her father left without knowing where he went. She rebelled against and blamed her mother for the lost of her best friend. It took her along time to forgive both her parents. She was angry and full of hatred. Until such a time that she just decided to forgive them. Still, her father is nowhere to be found. But she realized that she needs to move on.

I was asking her why did she rebelled. She just answered that she loves her father more than anyone else. I tried to do some research about her reason and came across an article entitled  "The Perceived Influence of a Father on His Daughter’s Development" written by Caitlin Goossen. This article contains researches and studies of the involvement of a father to a girl's life.

Goossen shared her researches of fathers' role in their daughters' lives, which I tried to analyze to get the factors of a daughter's rebellion over the father's absence:

A Father's Influence and Involvement

This father's role required him to spend lots of time with his daughter. Without this, the girl can be rebellious because of  finding someone to be with. A lot of girls cannot handle being lonely.

Long-Term Male Romantic Relationships

Numerous girls have a problem on being an attention-seeker. Without getting the attention wanted, rebellion starts. This problem starts when a father does not pay much attention with his daughter because girls most likely seek attention from the opposite sex.

Views of the Opposite Sex

Absence of a unique perspective from a father is also a factor of a daughter's rebellion because they will not understand men.

Sexuality

Without the father's physical contact can lead to a girl's sexual aggression, which is a form of rebellion. Physical contact is what makes women feel secure.

Body Image

Approvals, supports, praises, etc. from a father can help decrease a girl's insecurities. Fathers should give their fullest support for their daughters because insecurities may lead to rebellion if honors are not achieved.

Social Skills

Without interactions between a father and a daughter can destroy her relationships with others. Interactions with her father can help her easily adapt in different environments.

Academic Goals

The father must be the first one to encourage his daughter. A daughter fails in school then rebels because of not having someone who should motivate her first.

Hidden behind the effects are the factors why girls who haven't had fathers on their side rebel.  These factors must be addressed to all the fathers and to those who will become a father so that they will be aware as their daughter grow.

Father-Daughter Dances: BANNED

Just the title itself, makes you think that it is kind a little weird, right?

As I was browsing the net, my attention was caught by an article entitled, School Bans Father-Daughter Dances. It summarizes some kind of a law about father-daughter dances were banned in schools. This article contains how it started and how the community reacted on this sudden change of a traditional event.

Todd Starnes quoted, "A school district in Rhode Island has ended the traditional father-daughter dance because the longtime tradition violated the state’s gender discrimination law."

This introduction really made me thought that it's weird. For me, this kind of events would help father-daughter relationships become stronger. A question "why would they banned such events?" came onto my mind.

Furthermore, Starnes quoted a father's response, “I think it’s a shame,” parent Sean Gately told Fox News. “It’s an assault on traditional family values.”

I agree with this parent because he was looking forward to this kind of events and have an opportunity to have a bond with their children.

In the end of the article, it can be understood that this law has not been clearly fixed because of debates.

For me, this law should not be legalized. It has a point but it really depends on how parents would handle relationships with their children.

A Father's Daughter Becomes a Mother

What will happen to a daddy's little girl when her left and was separated from her?

As I was typing "a father's daughter becomes a mother" in the internet, the exact same words are actually what compose the title of a real article. A Father's Daughter Becomes a Mother by Shruti Malur is a brief narration of what happened to her when her father left and worked abroad. She was a daddy's girl who had a wonderful relationship with her father. She expressed in this article how bad it felt for her that her dad needed to be separated from her. She also share her realizations when she had a daughter who also became a daddy's girl.

"My father’s absence might be one of the major reasons that strained my relationship with my mother. I am not very proud of it.  She was a disciplinarian and always wanted us to be the best. Our performance in school and extracurricular activities had to be great. Otherwise it would reflect badly on her and her upbringing. There was too much pressure. At least, that’s the way I saw it. To channel the resentment I had, I started being difficult and indifferent towards my mother’s feelings. My grades started dropping in school. I had started nurturing the rebel in me," Malur said.

I believe that being too close with one of the parents will most likely to have a "bitter" relationship with the other. I heard my friend's story who was also a daddy's girl. When her dad left, she was angry and blamed her mother for her father's absence. This is the turning point of a cute little princess to a teenage rebellion.

She also narrated, "When I became a parent, I had this in my head that I had to take the lead. I was still functioning like before and was always in a “go” mode. I ended up doing a lot, being exhausted, angry and discontent. In turn I wasn't able to enjoy my child as much. I was being authoritative and expecting too much."

This was the effect of her father's absence. As a parent, she became more like her mother who expects too much from her child. A study I read before states that the parent's characteristics you rebel against is what you are going to be when you become a parent.

As Shruti realized this, she began to change her attitude towards her daughter. She realized that her mother was only trying to be a father for her. In return, she tried to be the "son" her mother never had (both of her children are girls).

This realization, would encourage every parent to stopped and think what kind of parents they are. Do they have inner pains that made them like a monster for their children? Or do they have a sweet relationship with their children because the had also a good relationship with their parents too?