Daughter's Necessities

Do you believe that a girls's first true love is her daddy? Well, the very first man who hugged and kissed her is her dad. That's why she tends to love him back. It was the first time that she felt loved and gave love to someone.

As I was typing the words "daughter's necessities," articles involving fathers -not mothers- are shown in the screen. I chose an article entitled Daughters Need Fathers, Too emphasizes that a girl needs male role models in her life. And the most important male model is her father because she'll be able to distinguish more of her identity, even sexuality, from the powerful relationship she had at first with her father.


Marie Heartwell-Walker quoted, "if there is a father (or a male in her life who takes a father role), that man becomes her guidepost for what to expect of men and what to expect of men’s attitude toward women."

A daughter's relationship with her father will determine her future relationships with other people especially to their opposite sexes. If she grew up knowing his father's love, she will most likely to know who's man to be with and not to be with. Her father will be the model of the man whom she will choose to marry someday.

In addition, Marie Heartwell-Walker listed 10 basic principles on how fathers must show love for their daughters. One of these principles is,  "Treat her the way you want her future partner to treat her. The way you interact with your daughter is what she becomes used to when relating to a man. Treat her with respect, dignity, caring, and affection and she will expect to be treated that way by a mate. "

Being used to be loved by her father, she will surely want a husband who will treat her like how her father treated her. As her mind was open when she was just a little princess, her mindset will be that her future king will treat her as a queen. In this way, she'll be more aware of what kind of relationships she can have when she grow up.

Fathers should understand that they are somewhat of a map for their daughter's life. They will be the guidelines of their daughters for future plans and choices. Make sure that in a very early stage of their lives, they will already realize true love from their first true love, their father.

The King's Princess

Having watched Princess Diaries, King Philippe -the father of Princess Mia- wrote a letter for her daughter's 16th birthday when she was only an infant. Eventually, King Philippe died and Princess Mia received that letter when she was 16. Upon reading the letter, her decisions in life changed. With just a paper and few words from her father, everything in Princess Mia's life changed. How is that?

An article, entitled How fathers influence daughters, came across as I was browsing the internet. It talks about how can a father mold his daughter. It discusses the stage by stage impact of the king to his little princess. This article also gives philosophies on how fathers should handle their relationship with their daughters.

Elizabeth Weiss McGolerick quoted what associate professor of philosophy at Eastern Kentucky University Michael Austin said, "How Dad approaches life will serve as an example for his daughter to build off of in her own life, even if she chooses a different view of the world."

Fathers, including mothers, are the very first living examples in a daughter's life. Knowing that they were already there even before she was born, gives the daughter an idea of her identity. And that idea will be formed according to what she sees from her parents especially from her father.

The stage by stage of a daughter's growth with her father was also listed by Elizabeth Weiss McGolerick. These are the following:

Dads and daughters: From infant to toddler

This tells how this stage is very crucial for a daughter's life that the father shouldn't miss. I agree with what the author emphasized because according to what I heard before, this is the very first relationship that a child will have. Every "first things" she did were the most powerful memories she will ever have. If she experienced love at first, then it will be alive in her. But because of a father's absence at first, she will most likely to carry bitterness.

   

Fathers and daughters: From tween to teen

Patience must be practiced by the father at this stage of his daughter. As the daughter experiences a lot of changes from physical to emotional aspects, she surely has irritations and her mind is getting to know more of the things around her. And as she is growing with more people, ideas and things, the father must guard on her daughter more. Not just to guard, but also to become a best friend to her.

From this article, it can be implied that the father has the biggest role in his daughter's fairy tale. Princess Mia's changed of decisions was a result of her father's love. Growing up with no father, she had a "not so good life." But when she realized something good about her father, she tends to follow what her father was according to what she felt in her father's letter.

The Power of a Father's Love

Blessed with a loving father, I took noticed of the children just like me who does not experience any love from their fathers. I felt a certain compassion for those people I know who have the same unusual attitude or behavior because of the same reason, the absence of a father's love. Although   most of them have their mothers, they are much different from the usual teenage girls I observed. Some of them have fathers who may be physically present but emotionally absent. While some does not even have the opportunity to see who their fathers are. 

I came across an article in the internet entitled How absence of a loving father can wreck a child's life: New study shows relationship with both parents is crucial came. This article talks about how much important the father's love is. It discusses how it greatly affects a child's growth as much as or even greater than a mother's love. It also informs about researches on the possible behavior of children who haven't experience father's love can acquire.

As Fiona Macrae quoted what researcher Professor Ronald Rohner said, "In the US, Great Britain and Europe, we have assumed for the past 300 years that all children need for normal healthy development is a loving relationship with their mother. And that dads are there as support for the mother and to support the family financially but are not required for the healthy development of the children. But that belief is fundamentally wrong. We have to start getting away from that idea and realize the dad’s influence is as great, and sometimes greater, than the mother’s."

I agree with the new idea of Professor Ronald Rohner. As children,  were conceived because of both parents, they must also be taken care by both parents. Not because the mother is the one who carried them for nine months means they are the ones who need to give more love. But fathers also need to give as much or more love than what mothers can give. 

Professor Ronald Rohner added "Children who feel unloved tend to become  anxious and insecure, and this can make them needy. Anger and resentment can lead to them closing themselves off emotionally in an attempt to protect themselves from further hurt."

Being unloved either by the father or mother has no differences. This means that both of them   contributes to what will the child's behavior be. What determines children's attitude is how both  parents have played their roles.

From this article, it can be clearly understood that one cannot disqualify either of the mother or father's love because both are very crucial to their children's lives. The roles of both parents need to be mutual with their children. Fathers, like the mothers are not just there to give material needs but also a deeper relationship with their children. Their children must not only see their father working but also experience their father's embrace.